Telephones everywhere are dying their hair blue. Claiming social security. Hitting up iHop for a 15% discount. Retiring to two-bedroom condos in Boca Raton. Today, the new generation barely picks up a phone unless us old fogies want to talk. With VoIP, texting and social media, the old school Alexander Graham Bell telephone is on its last legs. The end is near, folks, and we old timers better get ready for the new era in telecommunication.

Man, the phone was cool. I remember being thrilled when we got a wireless handset, sneaking into my closet for late-night chats with girlfriends. And when Zach Morris rocked that huge brick of a cell phone on Saved by the Bell? I begged my parents to spend the $4,000. Now, a mere 25 years later, there are 5.3 billion mobile phone subscribers — 77% of the world’s total population. And as the mobile revolution continues to spread across the globe, people are cutting the cords. Well, aren’t you?

I gave up my landline in 2001 when I phased out dial-up internet. And with texting, email and voice on my cellphone, why pay for a landline that only telemarketers call? When my kids were older, I opted for a VoIP phone for emergencies, like nearly 157 million homes worldwide. In the corporate world, businesses are rapidly cutting their cords, citing lower costs and easier integration with web meeting solutions and unified communications. So if homes and businesses stop using landlines, who’s left?

Families and businesses are evolving rapidly, demanding technology that works the way we do — whether it’s the kid who texts and updates Facebook or the businesswoman using a mobile meeting app instead of a conference call number. And the landline, vital to our human evolution, is taking its final breath. And while I’m feeling a little nostalgic for the wired days, you couldn’t pay me to give up my iPhone. Sayonara, landline. It was nice knowing you.